As part of the reading requirements during the school year, my daughter's class read the book Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson. Intrigued to see what all the hub bub was about, I picked it up for myself when I was at the Oswego Bookmobile last week.  Set in Syracuse, New York, the storyline follows a freshman girl as she struggles to cope with the trauma of being raped at a party by a classmate.  The title is a conundrum for what the main character Melinda did not do after the attack.  She hid inside her shell and chose to become a selected mute rather than tell anyone what had happened to her that summer night.  Thinking that it was her fault and that nobody would believe her anyways, silence became her only escape.

But the past always has a way of catching up with you and when Melinda saw that her ex best friend had started to date her abuser, she knew that she had to speak up in an effort to save another girl from going through the torture that she had endured.  To Melinda's surprise, once she opened up about her past she found that she was not the only girl who knew that this guy was a creep.  No longer alone, Melinda was finally able to take back her life and begin healing.

The message that book sends is powerful and it is the exact reason that have alson chosen to speak about my family's adversity.  It is not done to exploit my daughter and her assailant, instead it is meant to reach out to others to let them know that they are not alone.  Years ago I knew of no one else who had gone through anything similar.  My world suddenly kept shrinking, until it contained only a few small people that I trusted.  By shutting the rest of the world out, we keep our secret safe. 

Little by little, the need to reclaim our lives creeped up on us.  I started to talk about the pain that we had went through and to my surprise found that others were willing to share their own personal stories.  Not only were we no longer alone, we had somehow managed to bring others out into the light for the first time.  No longer held captive by our past, I knew that we held the key to helping others.  Within the past six months, I have had five people disclose their own abuse for the first time.  I think that is amazing and I am so proud that they took the first step towards healing.  Words are a very powerful thing.  Whether written or spoken, they have the power to touch people's lives.

Like a college student around exam time, the past week I have been pulling all nighters to finish my book proposal.  As one of the most important document in my life, I have been maticiulous about every aspect of writing this.  Cross referencing notes and manuals, my world has been colored coded between highlighters and sticky notes.  It needs to be pitch perfect if I want to pitch it to an editor.

With most of the legwork behind me, I can now focus on formatting the pages correctly.  Each aspect of the proposal is on it's own page, with the title 1/3 of the way down the paper and underlined.  In the top right hand corner is a header with my title and name and adjacent to that is a page number.  Underneath all this lies the meat.  Double spacing all my text, I now have to let my voice shine through as I prove to a publisher why a book of my genre is necessary, how my story compares to others on the market, and show a detailed market analysis, complete with a plan for it's promotion.  A task impossible to complete without doing some thorough homework on the subject.

Though it took me months to perfect, I am proud to announce that I have my 20lb paper and fresh ink cartridge out and ready for use.  Knowing that I can't trust a pair of eyes that have been up for 18 hours, I will wait on hitting the print button until my writing partner lives up to her responsibility and looks over my work with critiquing eyes.  You can never trust spell check 100% when something this important is awaiting approval.

Now that a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I can finally turn my focus back on editing my book (which has been the easier of the two to write.)  My new goal is to try and finish this process before I head back to work in the fall, but probably a more realistic expectation will be to work on a new chapter each week.

I thought I would leave you with a picture that helps me to find a serence place whenever I get stuck.  The water always helps to clear my head...filtering out the million things that run through it every minute, and allowing what I need to trickle out slowly and purposefully. 

For those who were not able to make it to the River's End Bookstore for the public readings, my video has been posted to YouTube.  I would like to thank my writing partner Lisa Buske for acting as videogropher and my husband Dan for all of his support.  This has been a very emotional ride, but also one of courage and strength.  My story has already touched many lives and I hope that it continues to inspire those still silenced by the shame.

Who knew that right here in Hollywood Studios I would find a little cafe that catered to wrtiers.  Was it fate?  Perhaps, or maybe just luck that I happened to stumble upon this little treasure and couldn't resisit a photo op.

Years ago my writing started out as theraputic.  It was a way for me to express myself without having to actually say the words.  It was private and safe.  But as everything does in life, my writing has evolved.  I am much stronger now and no longer confined within my shame.  My writing was meant to be something more...it was meant to be shared.

And so I tiptoed down a path, unsure of where to start and unaware of where it would take me.  I followed each curve and was surprised at what I found as I went along.  I discovered compassion, acceptance, and understanding.  For years I felt that what happened to my family was unique.  Now I know that it is happening to families everywhere, and only a few are brave enough to talk about it.

Each time I hear of another story of abuse I know that my calling is closer.  I don't just want to get my book into their hands, I need to.  When somebody is subjected to abuse the sense of isolation sets in.  They may not know where or how to seek out the help that they need to get through the pain.  My story is one way to reach these people.

A good friend of mine recently attended a writers conference and was drawn to one of the keynote speakers Barbara J. Hansen.  She talked about her own experience of abuse and how she works towards healing.  Afterwards my friend purchased me an autograph copy of her book Listen to the Cry of the Child.  Books like these are invaluable to survivors, yet often hard to obtain because most publishing houses are leary of taking on such a controversial topic.  Should we not publish books just because society is not ready to accept that abuse is taking place in homes all across the United States, or should we take a stand against violence and let the victims know that they do not need to be ashamed as they are not the ones who did anything wrong.  I am choosing the latter.  I am a writer, the mother of a survivor, and an advocate for those who cannot find a voice for themselves.

Americans all over the world are getting ready to celebrate their independance this coming 4th of July weekend. Typically it is spent with friends and family having cookouts, watching parades, and enjoying the little ones as they beem with excitment twirling sparklers around in the dark.

The thought of spending quality time with loved ones intriqued me, and made me want to have that more more than just a weekend.  After debating on the best way to achieve this, I decided to celebrate my independence in a different way.  For one full week I will become "screen free" in an effort to promote more family time.  I am officially proclaiming my independence from the intranet!!

My first reaction to this thought was gut wrenching.  With a goal to reach, how will I ever accomplish my revivions if I take a week off?  I allowed my conscience to weigh back and forth the pros and cons before coming to the realization that if I step back for a few days, my mind will be able to return with clearer thinking and my eyes will be more astute to tracking changings that are needed.  So I tell myself that I will be doing my book a favor by taking a few days off.

On Monday July 4th, the official start of the holiday, I will begin my journey of becoming "unplugged."  My computer will be shut down and I will break out the sunscreen as I embark on a few days filled with family fun.  I look forward to exclusive bonding time and lots of laughs this coming week.  When I conclude my independence next week, I will happily turn my computer back on so that I can blog all about the experience.  Will I be able to spend seven days away from my screen?  Tune in next week to find out!!

The Master writing class of 2011 cordially invites you to attend the public reading of an excerpt from our memoirs.  We have spent months writing, editing, and revising our work and now we are ready to share it with the public.

On Tuesday July 12th, the River's End Bookstore will be hosting the highly anticipated event.  Programs for the evening are currently in print and the press has been notified for coverage.  Please come and support all of the hard work that each of us has put into our writing.

The event is free and open to the public. 

It is that time of year again.  Children are squealing with excitment, piped up on sugar, and are having the time of their lives.  Yes, it is time for the fair!

Tomorrow is the official start of the Oswego County Fair in Sandy Creek, but each year the day before it opens to the public, the fairgrounds becomes a special meeting place for some very special people.  With the help of some very generous oraginizations, there is a day when people with disabilities can enjoy themselves in a relaxed atmosphere without having to worry about a large crowd.  There is free food, games, prizes, rides, door prizes, karaoke and exhibits for all to enjoy at their own pace.  Last year's event served over 800 special people and their family members.

My daughter's favorite part of the day was of course the bumper cars.  For a few moments she gets to sit behind the wheel of a vechile and is allowed to go willy nilly around the track without any worries.  In fact the more people she hits the more excited she gets!  It's every child's dream.  As a parent I got a glimpse at what our future will look like when she gets her liscence and made myself a mental note to get some extra insurance.

After the rides we hit up the game booths to test our skills.  We didn't fare to well in this department but lots of fun was had just the same.  Our next stop was to the make your own sundea booth, which is always a big hit.  We waited until our brain freezes subsided before heading off to prize wheel.  The choices were immense but we finally settled on bringing home a beloved stuff animal.  Our day was now complete.

As our energy ran out we made our way to the car with a great feeling inside of us.  We are very lucky to have such an event available to families who may not otherwise get to enjoy this kind of experience.  I would like to thank all of the volunteers who donated their time to help work the event, to the Lacona Fire Department who donated the food, and to all of the businesses who donated the prizes.  We appreciate the effort and heart that each of you put into the event each year.

For a daily schedule of this year's Oswego County Fair events, please visit oswegocountyfair.com. 

With the last of my homework near completion, I am forlorn knowing that my writing class is coming to an end.  Only one class remains before our weekly gatherings will subside.  I have become quite fond of my fellow classmates.  We are an eclectic group of people who have come together with a common goal....to write.

The different styles each of us choses to use represents our own unique voice.  Some have opted to write about their love for animals, others for their love of nature, and one even shared his viewpoint on the military.  Three of us bared our souls and told personal stories of tragedy.  As different as each piece was, the group as a whole came together to offer praise, some critiquing, and most of all accepted each others work without judgement.  There's alot to be said for that!

I have learned so much from my fellow "classmates" and our teacher Bob Comenole.  My eye is much keener now and my mind is more in tuned.  I am able to see beyond the words and can now bring the reader directly into the story.  My lessons learned will be incorporated into my own book, which hopefully each of you will be reading soon. 

The next 8 weeks will be dedicated to full time writing and revising.  I will still be meeting with my writing partner on a weekly basis and attending my writer's group monthly so that I can keep myself conntected to the literary world.  As much as I do not want summer to end, I am anxious to see how my book will have evolved come Autumn.  While I do not have a group photo of everyone in the Master Class, I have attached the picture from our first course, which includes most of our current class population and our teacher.  Farewell my friends and I wish each of you good luck in our writing endevours.

With each member of our class taking turns on being critiqued for our work, I served as one of the two writers to take the stage tonight.  To say that I was nervous would be an understatment.  With my work being so controversial I was uneasy even presenting the piece that I chose.  But with a little encouragment from my writing partner, I took the most intense chapter and send my manuscript out for a panel of twelve people to review.  Then I sat with baited breath for five days for the verdict.

The rules of the class are simple.  We state what we like about a piece, what we want to know about the piece, and add suggestions for them.  Right away it was almost unanimous my work was perceived as very well written, with only a few nit picking minor gramatical mistakes.  My colleagues deemed my work as "powerful" and "highly focused".  It was said I did an excellent job of making the reader feel like they were with me in the scenes, without being done in a non pitying way.  The instructor (Bob Comenole) said that this is hard for a writer to do, yet I accomplished it...I was thrilled to say the least! I heard from a few people that they were left wanting to read the entire manuscript.  There is no better compliment than that!!! 

Now my job is to take my feedback and revise my work accordingly before having my individual session with the instructor.  This will be highly anticipating for me.  I wish I could have him comment on my entire book, but I will be limited to just the chapter that the class was privy to tonight.  As soon as I receive the audio transcript from tonight I will add to the notes that I took from class and start my revisions.  I am so excited and can't wait to see how it turns out.

I am not alone when AAhhh, the Memorial Day sales are underway, a major holiday in the retail industry. Our mailboxes and inboxes are flooded with sale ads in hopes of luring money savvy consumers into their stores. The television commercials offer us glimps of some great deals to be found, which leads to the topic of conversation at the watercool at work. Does it work?? You bet it does!

I am one of those proud thrifty buyers who will spend hours seeks out a good deal and then brag about how little I paid for it the next day. One time I actually framed my sales receipt and deemd it my best score ever. I never pay full price for anything....food, clothing, travel and even entertainment can be found at a discounted price if you know where to look.

Scoping out a once in a lifetime deal send out endorphins into my body that will leave me giddy for days.  The Memorial Day sales come in a faint second to Black Friday, which to me is a religious holiday.  I will spend weeks pouring over the unleaked sale flyers (that I always manage to view before being released to the public) and map out my plan of attack.  It is a well organized day that requires a tight schedule.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm no Extreme Couponer.  While I have been known to take home 3 bags of groceries for a total of $0.67, it is rare that I am able to come across those kind of deals on a regular basis given today's economy.  But I always do my homework before making any purchase.  Price comparision is a must, and knowing how to combine sales with coupons and store rewards can add up to big savings. 

Another great trick is to buy off season.  With a little preperation you can plan ahead and save tons.  The perfect time to buy jeans is right now, at the beginning of summer.  The stores are trying to get rid of their inventory and the sales racks are filled with brand name denim for around $7.00 each.  Wait two more months to buy the same item and you'll be looking at $40 or greater for the same item, simply because consumers will be doing back to school shopping in August.  That patio set you've been eyeing?  If you can hold out the prices will plummet from $800 now at peak season down to $75 in October.  You may not have it for this summer, but store it away and next spring you'll break it out thanking yourself for saving so much money.

I encourage everyone to shop happy this weekend.  I myself think it's the perfect time to start my Christmas shopping.  My husband has been hinting at some pretty expensive stuff and I'm willing to bet that I can get some things at least 50% off before December.  Who knows, I may even score a 90% off discount if I look on the clearance rack....here's hoping!!