The sun is shining brightly against the pale blue sky adding to the ambiance of a picture perfect summer day.  This is a day not to be wasted...the beach is calling!

But how would we manage to work around a broken foot?  I thought twice about our decision to go before telling myself that we cannot let a circumstance define our lives.  Broken foot or not, we were going.

It took a little extra planning, but the afternooon spent in front of hte glistening water was priceless.  We found a new sense of peace and relived our childhood as we built sand castles and watched our fotprints (well, three of them anyways) left our legacy by the sandy shores.

There was a lesson to be learned today and that was determination.  Too often we tend to take the easy route, citing a poor situation as an excuse to not try.  So I challenge you.  The next time you find yourself saying you can't do something, I want you to to stop for a moment and think "What do I need to do to make this work?" There is always a silver lining within each cloud, You just need to look deeper until you find the solution for life's problems.

While looking through this month's O Magazine, I came across several articles that focused on how to pay attention to your own intuition.  I found the subject very fascinating, as someone who often will get a 'gut feeling' about things every once in a while.  As I read about the sub articles about people who paid attention to their body and followed through with their instincts,  I actually got goosebumps and I learned how their lives were profoundly changed for being attuned to their needs. 

Then I thought.  If Barbara J. Hansen ( author of Listen To The Cry of a Child) can change her life based on the advise of Oprah then I can too.  So back I went to the drawing board.  I dusted off my Writer's Market book and started going through the subject index with my heart instead of my eyes.  Was there a broader audience I hadn't expected to reach be out there and somehow I had missed this?  As I scanned the pages of agents I listened to my body's reaction as their names set in.  When my pulse started to race when I came to a certain publishing company, I made sure to flag it with a sticky note.  Perhaps this is my subconscience telling me that I need to inquire to them.

Not everyone believes in a 6th sense, or even in trusting instincts over intelluct.  It is hard to trust something just on a hunch alone.  My friend has a powerful sense of intuition that comes to her through dreams.  Have you ever had an inkling about something and later on it turned out to be correct?  Most people will simply chalk this up to a coincidence. But perhaphs there is something more to it.  Whatever way the universe talks to you, take the time to listen and you just may be amazed at the outcomes.

As part of the reading requirements during the school year, my daughter's class read the book Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson. Intrigued to see what all the hub bub was about, I picked it up for myself when I was at the Oswego Bookmobile last week.  Set in Syracuse, New York, the storyline follows a freshman girl as she struggles to cope with the trauma of being raped at a party by a classmate.  The title is a conundrum for what the main character Melinda did not do after the attack.  She hid inside her shell and chose to become a selected mute rather than tell anyone what had happened to her that summer night.  Thinking that it was her fault and that nobody would believe her anyways, silence became her only escape.

But the past always has a way of catching up with you and when Melinda saw that her ex best friend had started to date her abuser, she knew that she had to speak up in an effort to save another girl from going through the torture that she had endured.  To Melinda's surprise, once she opened up about her past she found that she was not the only girl who knew that this guy was a creep.  No longer alone, Melinda was finally able to take back her life and begin healing.

The message that book sends is powerful and it is the exact reason that have alson chosen to speak about my family's adversity.  It is not done to exploit my daughter and her assailant, instead it is meant to reach out to others to let them know that they are not alone.  Years ago I knew of no one else who had gone through anything similar.  My world suddenly kept shrinking, until it contained only a few small people that I trusted.  By shutting the rest of the world out, we keep our secret safe. 

Little by little, the need to reclaim our lives creeped up on us.  I started to talk about the pain that we had went through and to my surprise found that others were willing to share their own personal stories.  Not only were we no longer alone, we had somehow managed to bring others out into the light for the first time.  No longer held captive by our past, I knew that we held the key to helping others.  Within the past six months, I have had five people disclose their own abuse for the first time.  I think that is amazing and I am so proud that they took the first step towards healing.  Words are a very powerful thing.  Whether written or spoken, they have the power to touch people's lives.

Like a college student around exam time, the past week I have been pulling all nighters to finish my book proposal.  As one of the most important document in my life, I have been maticiulous about every aspect of writing this.  Cross referencing notes and manuals, my world has been colored coded between highlighters and sticky notes.  It needs to be pitch perfect if I want to pitch it to an editor.

With most of the legwork behind me, I can now focus on formatting the pages correctly.  Each aspect of the proposal is on it's own page, with the title 1/3 of the way down the paper and underlined.  In the top right hand corner is a header with my title and name and adjacent to that is a page number.  Underneath all this lies the meat.  Double spacing all my text, I now have to let my voice shine through as I prove to a publisher why a book of my genre is necessary, how my story compares to others on the market, and show a detailed market analysis, complete with a plan for it's promotion.  A task impossible to complete without doing some thorough homework on the subject.

Though it took me months to perfect, I am proud to announce that I have my 20lb paper and fresh ink cartridge out and ready for use.  Knowing that I can't trust a pair of eyes that have been up for 18 hours, I will wait on hitting the print button until my writing partner lives up to her responsibility and looks over my work with critiquing eyes.  You can never trust spell check 100% when something this important is awaiting approval.

Now that a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I can finally turn my focus back on editing my book (which has been the easier of the two to write.)  My new goal is to try and finish this process before I head back to work in the fall, but probably a more realistic expectation will be to work on a new chapter each week.

I thought I would leave you with a picture that helps me to find a serence place whenever I get stuck.  The water always helps to clear my head...filtering out the million things that run through it every minute, and allowing what I need to trickle out slowly and purposefully. 

With the temperatures reaching 100 degrees in the shade, the best thing you can do for your body is to take it easy.  Any strenuous activity could be bad for your health.  But today the heat was not the only reason that we were being cautious.  After our return visit to the orthopedic, we got the unsettling news that my daugther's foot is still broken.  Any hopes we had of salvaging our summer drifted out the window and into the haze outside.

The past five weeks I have watched my daughter hobble around in her cast, trying to make the most of a dismal situation.  With some strategic planning, we did most of our non physical summer fun the first few weeks she was in the cast and saved the exciting activities like the water parks for later on when she would be free to walk on her own two feet.  Now we may have to forgo these plans altogether as the amount of healing that takes place within the next month will predict whether or not surgery will be needed. 

Nevertheless, my daughter's personality shines just a brightly as the sun outside.  Instead of being sad that her vacation was in shambles, she put on a huge smile and attended her friend's birthday party without a care in the world. This is the kind of survivor attitude that I love about her.  Never letting anything get her down, she simply lets the warmth of her loving disposition take presidence.  It is always sunny in her world!

The past few days have been busy to say the least.  Between taking professional development classes and subbing for summer school, my writing (and housework) have taken a back seat.  As much as I wanted to sit down and focus on my book proposal I always manged to get side tracked.  It was getting me frustrated until I realized that I can't just hope that time will become availalble, I have to make time if it truly matters.  And so I did.

Now that the house is quiet and I can think without distractions, I have decided that today (well it's actually tomorrow by now) I will forgoe some sleep in order to catch up on the work that I had meant to do the past few days.  I actually like sitting up late at night, typing away frantically at the keyboard.  The only sound in the house is mine, and I can think with new clarity.  After catching my second wind I pulled out my proposal and studied exactly what it was that I have been putting off.  The chapter summaries...ugh!

This was the one part that has been giving me problems all along.  For some reason I couldn't figure out how to write it.  Should it be done in first person or third?  A formal summary of the chapter or written in dialogue?  I poured over reference books and internet sites hoping to find some examples that could help me.  And then, in the still of the night....it clicked.  Once I found my voice, the rhythm fell right into place and I was easily able to pull off something that I had struggled with for so long. 

So tonight (opps, sorry, this morning) I have learned a valuable  lesson.  Just like the Little Engine That Could, I did not give up.  I perservered until I was able to accomplish what I wanted.  And in the end, I was very proud that I didn't take the easy way out.  My proposal is now shaping up to be perfectly fine tuned, and a sense of self satifisfaction will remain with me forever.  I am thankful for these quiet nights when I moonlight as a writer. 

As I work on edits for my book, my daughter is taking advatntage of her time away from the classroom to add books to her summer reading list. As a writer and an educator I love seeing children looking at literature and now we have the chance to take part in a unique way to enchance this experience.

Kids and adults alike love going to the library to pick out a book, but this year a special project will be bringing the books directly to the community.  Sponsored by the Oswego City School Dictrict, SUNY Oswego and the Oswego YMCA, the Oswego Bookmobile will be visiting sites throughout Oswego County for eight weeks this summer.  Their vision was to "Drive Books Home", and that is just what they are doing.  They are offering the public read alouds, literacy activities, dogs that will listen to you read, and of course free books!

I had the special opportunity to be one of the first people on the bookmobile when it visited my school in June.  The look on the children's faces was pricesless as they stepped inside.  There were books of every genre and reading level within reach, complete with reading areas where everyone is welcomed to sit down and relax.  The kids all wanted to know when the bookmobile would be coming to them.  So they were told to listen to the music that would be playing.  As it rolls down the street this machine sings a tune announcing it's arrival, much like the ice cream truck did years ago.

According to their website  http://www.oswegobookmobile.org  the bookmobile will deliver free books once a week to twelve different sites in the City of Oswego, Scriba and Oswego Town.  The schedule can also be found at the Oswego YMCA's website.  If you are a fan of facebook you can "like" them by searching for Oswego Bookmobile.  

My daughter can't wait to visit this week and we have already decided that it would be nice to donate some of her books so that others may enjoy them.  From Pre-K to adult, this bookmobile offers something for everyone.  I hope that many of you will take the time to visit this spectaular display and help support reading within our community.

For those who were not able to make it to the River's End Bookstore for the public readings, my video has been posted to YouTube.  I would like to thank my writing partner Lisa Buske for acting as videogropher and my husband Dan for all of his support.  This has been a very emotional ride, but also one of courage and strength.  My story has already touched many lives and I hope that it continues to inspire those still silenced by the shame.

Who knew that right here in Hollywood Studios I would find a little cafe that catered to wrtiers.  Was it fate?  Perhaps, or maybe just luck that I happened to stumble upon this little treasure and couldn't resisit a photo op.

Years ago my writing started out as theraputic.  It was a way for me to express myself without having to actually say the words.  It was private and safe.  But as everything does in life, my writing has evolved.  I am much stronger now and no longer confined within my shame.  My writing was meant to be something more...it was meant to be shared.

And so I tiptoed down a path, unsure of where to start and unaware of where it would take me.  I followed each curve and was surprised at what I found as I went along.  I discovered compassion, acceptance, and understanding.  For years I felt that what happened to my family was unique.  Now I know that it is happening to families everywhere, and only a few are brave enough to talk about it.

Each time I hear of another story of abuse I know that my calling is closer.  I don't just want to get my book into their hands, I need to.  When somebody is subjected to abuse the sense of isolation sets in.  They may not know where or how to seek out the help that they need to get through the pain.  My story is one way to reach these people.

A good friend of mine recently attended a writers conference and was drawn to one of the keynote speakers Barbara J. Hansen.  She talked about her own experience of abuse and how she works towards healing.  Afterwards my friend purchased me an autograph copy of her book Listen to the Cry of the Child.  Books like these are invaluable to survivors, yet often hard to obtain because most publishing houses are leary of taking on such a controversial topic.  Should we not publish books just because society is not ready to accept that abuse is taking place in homes all across the United States, or should we take a stand against violence and let the victims know that they do not need to be ashamed as they are not the ones who did anything wrong.  I am choosing the latter.  I am a writer, the mother of a survivor, and an advocate for those who cannot find a voice for themselves.

Ten people have gathered together to share their heart, pain, determination, and strength.  Friends and family joined them for support as they walked towards the podium and bared their souls as they spoke the words that until now have only been written.

The River's End Bookstore served as a host while the Writing Academy of 2011 presented their very first public reading. Although the nervousness was evident in our seats, as each of us took center stage professionalism shone through as we read our pieces.  I was very proud of each of my classmates for their courage and hard work.

I had chosen to read a different chapter than what my collegues had been privey to during our classes.  It was a softer piece, yet the validity of the content remained.  As I glanced up I noticed the tears in my husband's eyes as I read.  I was greatful to have such a caring man in my life.

After the readings, time was allowed to mingle with the presenters.  As I made my way through the room one of the audeince members had approached me and disclosed their own personal adversity. They had kept this secret their entire life, and I was the only person they felt comfortable enough to tell.  My ears served as tool for this person to relieve some of the burden they have been carrying for decades.  It proufoundly affected me knowing that by telling my story, I had reached out to another human allowing them to start their healing. 

My determination has been renewed to continue my journey in publishing my book.   Abuse does not adhere to any specific ethnic or social economical backgrounds.  Instead it spills between them all, touching on each
equivalently.  The vast majority of its victims remains quiet, and I hope that my story will give just one more person the courage to come forward, accept that they did nothing wrong, and take back their lives.